Okay, as you have read in the past, my middle school students are very odd at times, but thats normal in middle school. Any person who teaches middle school or has middle school children, I am sure, can relate to the strange conversations that you find yourselves having with preteens on a regular basis! Buuuuttt, This one takes the cake on gross level!
*Students names have been changed*
Student Bill: Miss, Bob has an Orange in his pocket!
Me: thats great! You know if you need to bring breakfast you can, please go grab the items you need on the board before the bell rings Bill.
Me: Bob, don't make a mess!
-Bob runs over to the door as I stand in the halls for passing time-
Bob: do you want some Miss?
Me: no thank you, go finish up and grab your items that you need.
Bob: are you sure?
-as Bob proceeds to pull out orange SLICES out of his pocket Napoleon Dynamite Tot style to present them to me, I could see why he was getting attention-
Me: Bob, thats gross. Please go throw those away, you are in 8th grade now, we know not to store food in our pocket dude.
- and thats where I went wrong. As those words exited my mouth Bob drops one slice on the floor, proceeds to say "opps," picks it up, blows on it as he inspects for who knows what, and says "still good" as he places it back in his pocket.-
As I shake my head & turn to my teacher neighbor: did you see that?
He shook his head and said: building up his immune system beyond the vitamin C I guess.
As we stood their I heard an ewww from student Ursula in the room.
Me: ummm do I want to know what you are doing.
-Bob comes running over with one slice in hand-
Bob: Ursula licked my slice, but its okay it is still good! -he placed it back in his pocket!-
We proceeded with class when the bell rang. The 7th graders were testing and my extended lesson did not meet the full time, so I allowed my student to use the last bit of class to have study hall time. While all my kids were extremely excited... One didn't seem excited for the right reasons. As I was pulling up grades and helping a few students while Bob apparently made a quick matchbox style "house " for one orange, paper blanket & all!
*two days latter*
Student Ursula, Jane, and Timmy were in the class first. They came to me at the door & said "look it is still here!!" Apparently Bob had hidden this contraption in my room! I quickly stole it, threw it away, & proceeded to hide it under items.
-Bobs bus gets in-
Jane: Bob, Ms. D threw away your orange!
Bob: Ms. D!!! Why would you do such a thing?!?!
Me: because it was gross!!
Bob: Urika!! I have found it!
Me: put it back in the trash Bob!
Bob: mmmm its still good.
At this moment I realize that Bob has ate the 2 day orange slice that not only had been in his pocket, touched by other students, met a falling death to the floor, and been licked by another student... Yes, that was the orange slice he ate.
Teaching middle school is thebest birth control EVER!
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